id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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