best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's never too late to be topless.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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