I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
now i know why i became what i already was.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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