I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
