and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
