So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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