Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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