she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
