pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize
