Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
