wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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