I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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