u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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