i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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