will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
