watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
