what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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