i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize