this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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