The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
