You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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