Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
