Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
