At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
