No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I believe in your delicious
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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