Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
How does one acquire holy water?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
