Whoa Z and x make the same sound
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
