Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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