dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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