you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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