Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
