I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize