How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We have so much sex to catch up on
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
