He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
