Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
