this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
