Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize