I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
