spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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