the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
