its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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