his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
