i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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