8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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