when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
