PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
