So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
