Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
