i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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