CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
