The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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