i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
