so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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