Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize