I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
