you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
