i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
