you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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