Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
