I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
is it fun? or sober?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
