I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
